Scientists in Silicon Valley have created a new microscopic bug that poops oil. That's right, they excrete bubblin' crude, black gold, Texas tea!
Even better, the bugs eats trash. Yes, trash! Within a month's time scientists hope to have enough bug oil to begin testing on vehicles. If successful, armies of trash eating bugs could be the key to ending our dependence on the foreign sources we use to quench our insatiable thirst for oil.
Then again, they could go all viral on us and eat everything in their paths leaving the Earth a big black gooey ball of crude floating through space.